🤠 2022 horror movie round up

Wakeem's World
8 min readJan 5

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2022 was a great year for horror movies. We had it all from sick indy(ish) hits like Terrifier 2, X, and Pearl to blockbuster hits like Barbarian, Nope, and The Menu even the streaming services jumped in on the action with Fresh and The good nurse.

I will go over the “good”, the “just ok”, and the “bad” in horror for 2022. Keep in mind I think I know I missed some movies here and there so if you see one you liked, or hated, and think I should watch it please let me know in the comments. 😎

The “Good” (in no particular order)

Barbarian

This horror movie keeps the age old tradition of showing boobs but it isn’t what you think

Easily the best of the year. I think anytime a movie shows a grown man (Justin Long) breast feeding on a psycho mutant cave dweller you know you are watching something special.

I even remember the trailer rick rolling you into thinking it might be a RomCom or something but ends up taking a dark turn at the end. 10/10 must watch if you have not seen it already.

The Good Nurse

Eddie “I am weird as hell” Redmayne looking at Jessica “Don’t do me like this Murph” Chastain

I know, I know, this is not exactly a horror movie but I feel like if you were slowly being killed by a nurse poisoning your IV bag you would feel like you were in a horror movie. Also this movie was so good and it isn’t every day that streaming services make something worth watching so I wanted to include it anyway.

Jessica Chastain and Eddie Redmayne are a great duo in this thriller. I think what made this thriller so good is that when you are in the hospital being cared for you are so venerable. You are literally at the mercy of what ever nurse is taking care of you. Luckily most nurses are way too caring to do anything like this but even still I think the thought of something like this happening is always in the back of your mind while you are in the hospital.

I was a little sad I watched the trailer that auto plays on Netflix because it kind of gave away who was the bad guy and what was going to happen but it was still for sure still worth watching.

Fresh

We Stan Sebastian Stan

This was another streaming service win. Daisy Edgar-Jones and Sebastian Stan are another fantastic duo in this cannibal horror flick. I have always been a fan of Horror movie crossovers where a Horror movie is blended with another genera like Comedy or in this case RomCom. I think we need more of this and a larger variety. I feel like there should be more RomCom style Horror flicks.

That and I am waiting for the Horror X Adventure movie cross over 😆

Orphan: First Kill

Why was this movie good? 😆

Dude this movie was such a pleasant surprise. Usually sequels to an already kind of silly making taking itself too seriously horror movie are a complete dumpster fire. But I am happy to report Orphan: First Kill did not take itself seriously and they continued the trend of including a really fun twist at the end.

Skip over this part if you don’t want a spoiler: It is always fun to see the “bad guy” in a horror movie turn into the relative good guy 🤣

X/Pearl

Heres Lorranie!

First off it was so sick that they released the prequel so quickly after X. I thought that was just really cool and made it more fun.

That being said these were also quality horror films. They had some fun nods to classic horror films like the one you see in the screenshot above. I don’t know why but I was also expecting this movie to be a gore fest but it wasn’t, which I liked. 😅

Skip over this part if you don’t want a spoiler: You know you are in for a good movie when the bad guys are basically just horned up elderly people so sexually frustrated that they can’t help but murdering people. 😆

The “Just OK”

You will notice how I end up categorizing some of the more try hard movies here. This might just mean that I like to be surprised when I see a movie vs. having expectations that have to be met.

Nope

Nope I probably can’t sit though this again

Nope was very close to being a Nope movie itself. I still thought it was fun and kept me on the edge of my seat. I know movie people will probably roast me for this but TBH Jordan Peele is falling off pretty hard. Get out was great, Us was ok, and Nope was ok border line boring.

The Menu

Lord Voldamort is now a chef and he has a few jokes

This movie is pretty border line on making “the good” list. Don’t get me wrong I enjoyed this movie but I kind of wished it would have leaned a little harder into the humor side of the movie than it did.

Definitely the best exchange in the movie was this one 🤣👇

<Chef just gets done explaining why rich/high class people are going to be killed>

Lady: But what about me?
Chef: Where did you go to school?
Lady: Brown.
Chef: Student loans?
Lady: No.
Chef: You are going to die.

<Immediately cut to another scene>

But like I said don’t get too excited the whole movie isn’t that good it just has its moments. Obviously they did this on purpose, this movie had a lot of purpose, but I wish they could have throw us a few more bones.

Smile

Smile

This movie might have been a victim of having too high of expectations but TBH this movie was just ok. It wasn’t overly scary, it didn’t do much to be funny, it didn’t have a deep message or anything. At the end of the day it was just a simi mindless horror movie that was fun to watch once but that is about it.

Bonus points for being released right at the start of spooky season though. 😎

The “Bad”

Pray for the Devil

Prey for the devil? More like pray for the audience.

Christ this movie was bad, it was just typical mindless horror shit you have seen a million times in other exorcism movies. Bonus points for being released during spooky season but event that couldn’t save it.

If you haven’t seen it and you are desperate for something scary to watch this one is still a good one to watch.

Halloween Ends

Lets get real this ain’t the end 🙄

Thank god it is ending lol. I was tempted to skip this one because the last one was so bad. The Halloween vibes in the movie are still on point but the plot, the bad guy, everything is just so dramatic, played out, and predictable.

I can on only watch the same bad guy’s psyche get broken down so many times and watch the dude “die” for the millionth time before I stop caring.

Skip over this part if you don’t want a spoiler: I get they sent him through a wood chipper or whatever but I can’t help but feel like they are going to come back to us and say he some how had a fucking kid or passed on his killer instinct to someone else or some shit and now that is the new Meyers lol.

The Black Phone

Ethan posing for another bad horror movie

This was one of those “horror” movies that was so dumb and so not scary or interesting in anyway that I start to ask myself if I am watching a horror movie or just a movie with a weird plot.

I mean the concept is good a guy that kidnaps and kills children but the execution was just so predictable and the ghost children helping the current kidnapped child did nothing for me.

Ethan Hawke has been in a few of these kind of weird not that good horror movies that I am starting to associate his name with bad horror.

Morbius

Right before he says the critically acclaimed line “It’s Morbin’ time”

This one is kind of a joke but when you look up 2022 horror movies this movie is somehow listed. 😂 And who am I not to participate in the “It’s morbin’ time” jokes.

The short of this is that I expected this movie to suck and it sucked about as bad, maybe a little harder, than I thought it would.

I will say the external lore about morbin’ time and the juiced ratings on rotten tomato almost converts this awful movie into a classic disaster movie like “The Room”. Good job internet.

But just wait for Disney to try and cash in on the memes by leaning into morbin’ time for Morbius 2: the legend of morbin’ time. 🙄 That will for sure ruin any good will this movie had.

Scream 5

There was a Scream 5?

Did anyone else remember Scream 5 came out last year? 🤷‍♂️ It must have been either just ok or bad because I barely remember this movie lol. Lets get real though when you are on the 5th movie how good can it really be. 😆

Conclusion

2022 was a great year for horror. We don’t always get this many solid horror movies across streaming, in theaters, and at home releases. I am not sure why horror movies come in bursts like this but I am predicting we are unlikely to see this continue into 2023 but I am still here crossing my fingers. 🤞

I will leave you with two questions

  1. What was your favorite this year?
  2. Did you feel this was a good year for horror or did it feel like every other year?

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Wakeem's World

Attempting to weekly blog about whatever I am thinking about. Skateboarding, tech, film, life, etc.

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